Hi I'm Marie-ève,

I'm 31 years old now and I have started at 11 years old. I didn't know at that time wt I was doing but I felt it so good that I've repeated the experience again and again and again..... I was caught 4 or 5 times by my parents. One time by friends of friend (horrible). My parents never did anything else that ask me to drop my girl stuff. Now I have kids, and thinking that they had to do something.

So I was dressing around once or twice a week when I was a teen. When I was 17, I've changes school and got into a new world. I dressed with latex, high tight boots, high heel, hood, cat suit, all the stuff. More on the Fetishist side. It was my best years of my life. I've quite my parent house at 21. This was a revelation to me... I was able to dress anytime and almost all the time at home. During 3 years It was the paradise: going out in fetish party fully dressed, going at movie theater, shopping center; it was so nice.

Things changed: At 24 I started to feel single so I’ve started to look to a gf (this was in 2000) cuz I was still attracted to girl. I found one. I was unable to tell her I was CDer but I told her my love for the latex and high heels. At the beginning she reacts positively to that but with time she was just thinking I was crazy and never wear latex anymore. So I was stocked: If she don't like to wear stuff, she will never like me to wear it. So I deiced a STUPID thing: To continue with her and to purge CDing of my life. So I've drop almost 90% of my clothes. I kept only the expensive ones (I had for 2000 to 3000$ of stuff at that time). I wear these things in the closet hided from her and not often like 2 times years. A day, she ask me to have kids. I always wanted to have kids so we had one (12-31-2004). At that time I decided to purge the remaining 10% of my stuff. From this time, no sexuality with my gf since we've made the second kids and we did it only once. Our second daughter was born 03-07-2006. On the 06-06-2006 I was diagnosed of a cancer. So chemotherapy and radiotherapy to the end of 2006. Guess what kind of sexual life I had... nothing!!! But I got better in 2007 and libido came back and it brings Marie-ève back also. So I had sex with my gf once in 3 years of purge. Now Marie-ève is back and I go better and better. And strangely, we have a sexual life since marie-ève is there.

I got to the store and bought clothes. And put it on. It felt so good... So I restarted from there. And last summer, my GF catch me dressed. So I told her the truth that I was always a CDer. She wanted to quite me... But finally not. It was a hard year for us I was in sickness leave and she was in parental leave at same time. She was supposed to take care of the baby and I was supposed to work... But plan have changed. So from there me and my GF had a hard time (and if still hard). Anyway, now she now and kind of accept it. But I’m stocked with a problem... I feel that I want more that She's allow me to. Basically, I want the life I had when I was living alone doing whatever I wanted. But now she's there and 2 daughters.

I loved her 3 but I want something else and they don't go together. I don't know wt to do?

1- kill my self (don't panic plz; I think of that for more than a year now and I'm still there)

2- Quite my family for ever and start a new life somewhere else where everybody know me as guy as a CDers.

3- Quite my family and shared the kids 1 week on 2 and crossderss the other week.

4- Stay with them and crossdress as much as I can but not enough